How Does One Know if Anyone Reads This Crap?
Here I am, spilling my guts to the World, talking about how I cry despite being a male, yet nobody can chirp in and say, "That's so funny, Smidge!" like they used to do on MySpace. This Blogger thing requires some pride-swallowing, that's for sure.
I play on a mens soccer league, and today it occurred to me that I don't mind losing nearly as much as I used to. We got housed 7 to 1, yet I left the field with ego completely intact. Nor did I resort to yelling at people like I used to do when I was in high school. Boy, I may have been an arrogant prick at times in high school. Nobody's fessed up and said so, however, so I suppose it may be all in my head.
It seems this blog is more my pensive and melancholy blog, as opposed to my "always trying to be funny" MySpace blog. It's as if I don't want to tarnish that veneer of "funny guy" over there, like I'll lose Friends or Readers if I show my true self. It's weird when someone you once felt up freshman year reads your innermost thoughts. I'd rather be felt-up than really seen for who I am, that's for sure. What's worse is when you get a phone call from the mom and she says, "So, I've read the blog. (long pause) Do you really have to use your real name?" Translation: "I don't want my book group friends knowing you used to sniff coke and masturbate and use foul language to a fault." I mean, I've gotten better, but not THAT much better.
Here's something funny to keep this blog from sinking into the morass of Nietchze-like depression: I was totally punked on the highway today by a very old man in a Cadillac. I pulled out in front of him, going about 60 in my lane, but he was trucking along at 65. Without putting his turn signal on, he pulled around me, and then cut me off! The kicker was that he had to really struggle to get to his exit, which came up right after his Nascar move, and I could see him stressing about it when I passed him again. His wife was sitting next to him, and I imagined this exchange as he got onto the exit:
HUSBAND: Oh fuck, Betty. Hold on! It's gonna be close!
WIFE: Charles, why do you have to be such a goddam cowboy?
Old people yelling at each other is comedy, right? Or is that still sad in some way? I don't know.
I play on a mens soccer league, and today it occurred to me that I don't mind losing nearly as much as I used to. We got housed 7 to 1, yet I left the field with ego completely intact. Nor did I resort to yelling at people like I used to do when I was in high school. Boy, I may have been an arrogant prick at times in high school. Nobody's fessed up and said so, however, so I suppose it may be all in my head.
It seems this blog is more my pensive and melancholy blog, as opposed to my "always trying to be funny" MySpace blog. It's as if I don't want to tarnish that veneer of "funny guy" over there, like I'll lose Friends or Readers if I show my true self. It's weird when someone you once felt up freshman year reads your innermost thoughts. I'd rather be felt-up than really seen for who I am, that's for sure. What's worse is when you get a phone call from the mom and she says, "So, I've read the blog. (long pause) Do you really have to use your real name?" Translation: "I don't want my book group friends knowing you used to sniff coke and masturbate and use foul language to a fault." I mean, I've gotten better, but not THAT much better.
Here's something funny to keep this blog from sinking into the morass of Nietchze-like depression: I was totally punked on the highway today by a very old man in a Cadillac. I pulled out in front of him, going about 60 in my lane, but he was trucking along at 65. Without putting his turn signal on, he pulled around me, and then cut me off! The kicker was that he had to really struggle to get to his exit, which came up right after his Nascar move, and I could see him stressing about it when I passed him again. His wife was sitting next to him, and I imagined this exchange as he got onto the exit:
HUSBAND: Oh fuck, Betty. Hold on! It's gonna be close!
WIFE: Charles, why do you have to be such a goddam cowboy?
Old people yelling at each other is comedy, right? Or is that still sad in some way? I don't know.
posted by Smidge at 10:27 PM
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