Naked UFC to the Max
The lunch lady at my school has the audacity, or balls, or chutzpah to put a tip jug out for both the students AND the teachers. There is one lonely, sweaty, possibly fake dollar chilling at the bottom like a chappy sock.
My profile picture suggests I'm "taking care of business," but I'm too snobby to take my own picture and replace it. I wait, and wait, and wait until someone takes a picture of me so I can review it and then post it.
Lately I'll have one or two nights a week when I have two meals for dinner. And inevitably while I'm preparing the second dinner, about halfway full I become totally disinterested with eating any more. But I'm too cheap (or pre-WWII frugal, if you will) to throw the food out.
Man Vs. Wild versus Survivorman.:
Bear Grylls is more charming and his British accent is cooler, but he's a total show-off. He all hangs off of planes before he jumps out of them. No! You jump out of the plane! That's enough to seal it for most people. You don't need to try so hard. On the flipside, Survivorman Les Stroud is about as humorous as a butt zit, and kind of a bitch, but at least he knows what he's doing. I feel like he could survive for a year in a closet if he had to. And maybe he figuratively is, for that matter.
I can't sell my car, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm caught in the riptide of some downturn in the car market, just like those who can't sell a house to save their lives. I took it to CarMax, but they offered me the same amount I would have gotten from taking it to a chop shop. Fuck CarMax. More like Sucks to the Max. Or CarLacksGoodDeals or FartTracks or ShittyShits. Sorry, I just reverted to my middle-school inner self. Selling a car will do that to you.
Watching "Eastern Promises," I've never been more inclined to lean forwards and backwards in my seat as during Viggo's balls-out fight scene. Talk about a departure from Aragorn. He and Daniel Radcliffe should do a naked UFC fight to see who can unmask his typecast persona the most. If I had done that scene, the budget would have been twice the amount simply for the grooming that would have needed to take place. I'm talking some serious manicuring.
My profile picture suggests I'm "taking care of business," but I'm too snobby to take my own picture and replace it. I wait, and wait, and wait until someone takes a picture of me so I can review it and then post it.
Lately I'll have one or two nights a week when I have two meals for dinner. And inevitably while I'm preparing the second dinner, about halfway full I become totally disinterested with eating any more. But I'm too cheap (or pre-WWII frugal, if you will) to throw the food out.
Man Vs. Wild versus Survivorman.:
Bear Grylls is more charming and his British accent is cooler, but he's a total show-off. He all hangs off of planes before he jumps out of them. No! You jump out of the plane! That's enough to seal it for most people. You don't need to try so hard. On the flipside, Survivorman Les Stroud is about as humorous as a butt zit, and kind of a bitch, but at least he knows what he's doing. I feel like he could survive for a year in a closet if he had to. And maybe he figuratively is, for that matter.
I can't sell my car, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm caught in the riptide of some downturn in the car market, just like those who can't sell a house to save their lives. I took it to CarMax, but they offered me the same amount I would have gotten from taking it to a chop shop. Fuck CarMax. More like Sucks to the Max. Or CarLacksGoodDeals or FartTracks or ShittyShits. Sorry, I just reverted to my middle-school inner self. Selling a car will do that to you.
Watching "Eastern Promises," I've never been more inclined to lean forwards and backwards in my seat as during Viggo's balls-out fight scene. Talk about a departure from Aragorn. He and Daniel Radcliffe should do a naked UFC fight to see who can unmask his typecast persona the most. If I had done that scene, the budget would have been twice the amount simply for the grooming that would have needed to take place. I'm talking some serious manicuring.
posted by Smidge at 10:14 PM
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