Wearing Hats That Don't Fit

You know what I'm not? I'm not the guy who has all the answers. Today I told at least three people what I thought they should do with their lives. Big stuff, too, like relationship issues. It felt awkward, and I'm inclined to keep mum in the future. I love figuring shit out on my own, but I know that's not how everyone else works. People need feedback. People come to me for feedback. I may seem like I'm working things out, but do they know I was this close to losing it this afternoon? When my hands were shaking while doing the dishes? On the phone with my girlfriend, no less? And to make matters more intriguing, yesterday I was the chillest I've been in months. Someone even commented, "Boy, you look relaxed today." In the blink of an eye, serene to wacky. And so tired these days, like sleeping to 11:30am and not running and eating ice cream all the time. These aren't healthy traits, but I guess I'm coasting by, and somehow displaying the veneer of "with-it guy." Part of me doesn't even want to put this out there anonymously, because I cherish being the "with-it guy."

Fuck it. I'm gonna go pound a pint of cookie dough and watch four straight episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I'll probably wake up at noon tomorrow with a sweet bellyache, answer the phone and say, "Here's what I would do..."