Deconstructing Denmark
I met a Danish guy tonight. No, not on Match.com, you effing comedian. Let's say he's a friend of a friend. And that certain friend's name is Bill. Anyway, I see this guy with killer specs on, the kind where you just know he's either an architect or from one of those cold countries where they speak a Germanish-sounding language. Turns out he was the latter.
I've been fascinated by Denmark after this article came out a few months ago. "Happiest Country on Earth"? What could they be pumping into the air supply to make those Danes so friggin' exuberant? Turns out much of what the article proposed - namely, the socialist government giving everyone a fair stake at success and well being - is backed up by my new friend.
He says the Danish are more concerned with family than with success. (If I just look at myself, I moved 3000 miles from my family initially to pursue the American Dream of writing screenplays for moolah. I stayed out here for convenience.) They get taxed like mofos - up to 70% if you're making over 60,000 a year. In fact, the system discourages being overly successful, so that everyone in turn just does enough to keep busy. If you want to go to college, you don't have to break your neck to get into a good one, since everyone is guaranteed secondary education.
I asked him what Denmark's main industry was. Here were his exact words: "We have a very flat land, so we grow a lot of agriculture. We have a lot of pigs. I don't know. There are a few well-known designers to come from Denmark." Translation: "We just kick it all day, occasionally growing shit and designing these cool specs you see on my face." No wonder they're so happy, right? I'm not just saying that as a throw-away statement, either.
Could we ever pull off a socialist government here? No way. In fact, the NSA is tracking my blog from this point forward. Oh well. The thing is, we're too goal-oriented and try too hard to distinguish ourselves from the rest of the pack. The article mentioned that happiness can be derived from living around people with the same goals as you. Not a single person living on my block has the same goals as me. You know how I know that? For starters, I haven't talked to any of them. They either annoy or confound me with their late night car alarms and strange parking habits. In addition, we don't ever see each other outside of parking our cars at night and sticking our heads out of the windows after an earthquake. In fact, rarely do I see the same people anywhere in this city. I'm constantly running into new people, none of whom seem to share my goals either. We're all playing for different teams. This would be a depressing thought if it wasn't the same mentality that gives us 23 different options for toilet paper.
Would I live in Denmark? I don't think so. Apparently, the family unit is so strong over there that it is hard to break into. And they have no need for English teachers, either. This guy I met speaks better English than I (or is it "me"?). Again, not a throwaway statement. But certainly I think it's a good model to follow, even if we try it on a micro level. Like giving somebody a hand putting groceries in her car, or picking up a piece of trash on the sidewalk, or contacting the police when you see a vandal at work. Wait, that doesn't work.
When you play on the same team, especially if that team is your family, you win. And winning is American. Why do I feel like I'm sounding more and more like Stephen Colbert? I'm serious, though. More taxes is not always a terrible thing, as long as it's money being well spent. Programs to rehabilitate gang youth? Well spent. More bike lanes? Well spent. More intersection cameras? Not well spent. I bet they don't have those in Denmark.
I've been fascinated by Denmark after this article came out a few months ago. "Happiest Country on Earth"? What could they be pumping into the air supply to make those Danes so friggin' exuberant? Turns out much of what the article proposed - namely, the socialist government giving everyone a fair stake at success and well being - is backed up by my new friend.
He says the Danish are more concerned with family than with success. (If I just look at myself, I moved 3000 miles from my family initially to pursue the American Dream of writing screenplays for moolah. I stayed out here for convenience.) They get taxed like mofos - up to 70% if you're making over 60,000 a year. In fact, the system discourages being overly successful, so that everyone in turn just does enough to keep busy. If you want to go to college, you don't have to break your neck to get into a good one, since everyone is guaranteed secondary education.
I asked him what Denmark's main industry was. Here were his exact words: "We have a very flat land, so we grow a lot of agriculture. We have a lot of pigs. I don't know. There are a few well-known designers to come from Denmark." Translation: "We just kick it all day, occasionally growing shit and designing these cool specs you see on my face." No wonder they're so happy, right? I'm not just saying that as a throw-away statement, either.
Could we ever pull off a socialist government here? No way. In fact, the NSA is tracking my blog from this point forward. Oh well. The thing is, we're too goal-oriented and try too hard to distinguish ourselves from the rest of the pack. The article mentioned that happiness can be derived from living around people with the same goals as you. Not a single person living on my block has the same goals as me. You know how I know that? For starters, I haven't talked to any of them. They either annoy or confound me with their late night car alarms and strange parking habits. In addition, we don't ever see each other outside of parking our cars at night and sticking our heads out of the windows after an earthquake. In fact, rarely do I see the same people anywhere in this city. I'm constantly running into new people, none of whom seem to share my goals either. We're all playing for different teams. This would be a depressing thought if it wasn't the same mentality that gives us 23 different options for toilet paper.
Would I live in Denmark? I don't think so. Apparently, the family unit is so strong over there that it is hard to break into. And they have no need for English teachers, either. This guy I met speaks better English than I (or is it "me"?). Again, not a throwaway statement. But certainly I think it's a good model to follow, even if we try it on a micro level. Like giving somebody a hand putting groceries in her car, or picking up a piece of trash on the sidewalk, or contacting the police when you see a vandal at work. Wait, that doesn't work.
When you play on the same team, especially if that team is your family, you win. And winning is American. Why do I feel like I'm sounding more and more like Stephen Colbert? I'm serious, though. More taxes is not always a terrible thing, as long as it's money being well spent. Programs to rehabilitate gang youth? Well spent. More bike lanes? Well spent. More intersection cameras? Not well spent. I bet they don't have those in Denmark.
posted by Smidge at 12:02 AM
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